Posts Tagged ‘cooking’

You read it right. I’m not going to sugar coat it.

The scale is like a hormonal &#$% who’s constantly ragging at you. Telling you, “you’ll never be good enough. You’ll never be skinny enough.”

Then there are times when the scale is like a conniving friend. You know the one… she will tell you how great you are and will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside by giving you a complement (like a low weight). Then when you least expect it (like the very next day). WHAM!! The B stabs you in the back with a number that shows weight gain.

Look… The scale is a lier and like any lier she’s not your friend. You can’t trust her. She’s not on your side. She wants to mess with your head. She wants you to give up. She wants you to fail. You can’t let her sabotage you! You have to arm yourself against her!

How do you do that you ask?

Don’t give her the power.

How do you do that?

You stay away from her. Simple! She can’t get to you, if you don’t get on her. Period! I could end my post right here. 😉

So why does she mess with your mind?

Because she can!

Your weight will be more in the evening than in the morning because in the morning your tummy is empty of food. As the day goes on you will weigh more depending on how much food and liquids you have in your tummy. You will weigh more or less depending on how much rubbish you have in your intestines. And of course when the curse comes a calling… you’re gonna blow up like the Good Year blimp and.. yep, you guessed it. You’re gonna weigh more. See how she messes with your head?

FYI — the best time of day to weigh (if you must) is first thing in the morning, before eating and after using the rest room.  Don’t weigh more than once per week. Any more than that and she’ll suck your happy dry!

Look we are women our weight is going to fluctuate, it’s just a fact of life. I’ve gone up and down as much as five pounds in a single day. Weight is irrelevant! So don’t slave to the scale. It’s not how much you weigh that matters, it’s how well your clothes fit.

Just the other day I got on the scale 130 pounds. Yeah… Me!!!

The very next day and every day since I have weighed from 131 to 133 depending on when I got on. (I’m weighing myself continuously on purpose… it’s called content).  Here’s the kicker, I’m getting smaller! Yep, smaller!

How can I be getting smaller if my weight isn’t dropping? Glad you asked.

Because my body composition is changing. I’m losing body fat (which is fluffy) and I’m replacing it with muscle (which is dense). Muscle has weight, but it takes up less room, so you can be in a smaller size while weighing the same. I know I over simplified that… but it’s because I’m running out of time here.

Here is a simple example: I’ve weighed 128 pounds and have been in a size 3 and I’ve been 128 pounds and been in a size 5.

Right now as I type this. I’m 130 ish pounds. The scale refuses to show me a 120 something… But I don’t really care. Why? Because I just lost another 1/2 inch off my waist and 1/2 off my back side.. and the scale hasn’t moved.

See? I’m getting thiner which is my goal. I can see my ABs (amen), I don’t care what that scale says about me, cause she’s no friend of mine.

So… treat the scale like a conniving, back stabbing, hormonal *&@#$. Say hi when you have to and then steer clear. Trust me.. you’ll be much happier without her. Let your jeans be your guide.


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$500.00 Reward for lost Vanity.

Have you seen my lost vanity? She ran away from home about 5 years ago.This is what she looked like before she left home.

Vanity REALLY cares about her health and her body. She wouldn’t dare let herself go a day without working out. The thought of putting bad food into her body… No way!

Vanity really cares what her body looks like. Muffin top, road bump bootie? No way! Vanity will do anything to keep her body in top shape.

I really miss my old friend. Please, if you see her…. tell her I love and miss her. I am desperate, I would do anything if she would just come home.

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Have you ever had one of those days when you think to yourself, “I picked a really bad day to stop sniffing glue.” ? (nodding my head knowingly)

Yep, I’m having that day!

I won’t drink a beer… I won’t drink a beer… I won’t drink a beer…

I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful….  I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful… Baby step away from the refrigerator. (What About Bob)

You’re most likely thinking, “What in the hell is she talking about? She’s finally lost her nut.” Maybe I have. Maybe I’m just fed up.

Life is  ruthless, unrelenting. Yep, that’s right and she just kicked me in the teeth and in the butt all at the same time. Yes, this is my soap box deal with it. 🙂

Am I a cynic? Today… You’re darn right I am!

Am I ranting just because I’m on a diet? Nope, but it sure doesn’t make it any easier.

Maybe… just maybe if I could medicate myself with chocolate and a cold beer I might not be blogging a soapbox right now. But I’ve dedicated my life to changing my life and my body and chocolate and beer just isn’t part of the plan. Coating my raw nerves with these things won’t get me anywhere except back into my FAT jeans.

Could I ever go for a bag of Dove’s chocolates and a beer…!

I would love to be a cheater today… No one would ever know… with the exception of my horrific guilt and excessive need  to be “true” to this journey. How can I lead others down a path if I’m walking off the cliff myself? Darn it, why do I have to be so ethical?

Wonder how many Diet Dr. Peppers it takes to wipe away dreams of a beer? As of right now the count is three.

Since I can’t have a beer… I’m going to just come out and say it… Bank of America are crooks. Okay, now I feel better! 😉

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Okay people, this is your TMI (too much information) warning. Read at your own risk (heheh) you’ve been warned.

So, I was walking around the drug store today waiting for a prescription. I was beyond starving! I hadn’t had a single morsel of food ALL day (I know.. I know… I’m a hypocrite). I was famished! I needed something!

I went on a search for something, anything that would keep me from nibbling my arm off. Like most people who are on a diet and who are starving; I found myself walking down the candy isle. Okay, don’t balk at me… my story isn’t over yet.

As I was walking down the candy isle, I thought to myself, “Hey, I can have sugar free candy!” I stopped dead in my tracks and saw my favorite hard candy in a sugar free package!

OMG…. it’s my lucky day! I didn’t know if I wanted to scream or pee in my pants.

Right there staring at me was a package or Werther’s Originals! SUGAR FREE!

Without a single other thought I grabbed that candy! OH… Yeah! Amy was a happy camper. I walked back to the seating area to wait for my meds and so I could read the package.

Sugar Free — Check

Low calories — Check

Life is good…..

To my surprise the candies were tinny! I thought, “wait a tick, 40 calories for that?!” Then I noticed the serving size was for 5 pieces. “Okay, that’s not bad” I thought. Five pieces would be about three regular size candies. I ripped the bag open.

OMG… They were everything I had wished them to be. They were so creamy, carmel delicious. They weren’t as good as the original but damn close! I had 40 calories to burn… So I ate five then I ate three more! For the non-mathematicians I had 8 pieces of candy.

Eight, no big deal right?


As I was leaving the store I thought to myself, “I shouldn’t eat too much of this. What if it gives me a tummy ache?” Naa… “That’s Alestra (the fake fat known to clean out your pipes) this isn’t a fat substitute, it’s only sugar free candy.” So, I scarfed down number eight.

About 20-30 minutes later my tummy started rumbling. “Hum…?” My tummy sounded like some sort of drum.  Another couple of minutes went by. The natives in my tummy really turned up the heat. There was a loud echoing liquid sound… “Oh, boy this can’t be good!”

Do you remember that scene from American Pie where Finch went running into the girls bathroom.. He blew the roof off of that place. Yep!

Holy Crap! That’s all I’m saying….

15 minutes and 1 pound (not even joking on the weight) later I came out of the bathroom.

Thank the dear Lord I was at home…

Enter Google search: I looked to see if anyone else had tummy trouble after eating sugar free candy Werther’s in particular.

This is what I found: Some sugar free candies contain a sugar like product called Isomalt. And yes, this product has been known to cause terrible gas and or diarrhea.

Studies on people taking isomalt have linked the substance to a high rate of stomach upset, gas and diarrhea. Even in relatively low doses, isomalt can cause diarrhea in about 10% of women who take it and about 4% of men. Just as with sugar, it’s a good idea to keep consumption of isomalt to a minimal amount, more so for the stomach upset it may cause than because of any long-term negative effects. Read More

What the hell? Right?

It’s sugar free candy!

I only had 8 pieces of tinny, tiny candy. I shouldn’t have lost a pound of my innards from that…. Right? Wrong.

Well, people let me tell you (sighing) DON’T. I repeat, DON’T eat too much sugar free candy without testing out a single bite on your tummy first.

Learn from my mistake! Know your candy…. Know what’s in it!

If it sounds too good and taste too good to be true, it probably is.

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I’m the proud new mommy to a full set of measuring cups and spoons!

Yes, people the world has come to an end! I, Amy Cotta have a set of measuring cups and spoons! Okay, pick yourself up off the floor and dust yourself off. These aren’t no William Sonoma cups and spoons they are Wal-mart Baby! I’m talking cheep-os! But hey, their mine. And, I’m just so damn excited I decided to put my big girl panties on and got a set.

Aren’t they pretty?

Until yesterday I had (count them), (1) 1/2 cup, (1) 1/3 cup, (1) 1/2 tsp, (1) large 2 cup, and… that’s it! It’s damn near impossible to follow a recipe without these items! Let me tell you, not only does my grammar suck but so does my math! At this point in the Skinny Jeans Diet game proper measuring tools is a must!

Now that I’m the owner of  measuring cups and spoons I’ll be like Emeril Lagasse! Not..! But at least I’ll be less likely to over or under season my skinny food. The other night I got a little carried away with the salt. Yuck! Enter: the shopping trip to purchase proper measuring tools.

I guess my next purchase should be a proper non-stick cooking pan. That’s a big leap! I don’t know if I’m ready for that type of commitment yet. But what’s a girl to do? The one I have now is so warped you could use it as a balance board. When cooking I have to keep moving my food around so it will cook evenly.

Do I do it? Do I pull the trigger and buy a cooking pan?


You know… my husband now comes home from work EVERY night asking what I’m cooking for dinner. He never asked that before! This damn diet…! Now my family wants and expects me to cook every night!


Well, guess there is another shopping trip in my near future. A frying pan I go…

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